Loving the Parents of Special-Needs Kids
By David Ettinger
For Julio and Ruthy Morales, “Buddy Break” is the perfect outreach to families with special-needs children.
“Buddy Break is a respite-care program for the caretakers of these children to give them three hours for themselves,” said Ruthy, who volunteers at First Orlando along with Gail Brown, who heads up the church’s special-needs ministry.
Buddy Break is part of Nathaniel’s Hope, a Central Florida ministry dedicated to bringing hope to children with special needs. Buddy Break is held at First Orlando every third Saturday of the month. Parents and other caretakers can drop their children (teens included) off at the church from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. and spend those three hours any way they want — from shopping to catching up on much-needed sleep.
For the Moraleses, Buddy Break is not just something they volunteer to do, but something that is an intricate part of their lives. Blessed with four daughters, it is the Morales’ second oldest, Natalie, who was born a special-needs child.
“She is developmental-delayed; there is an abnormality with chromosome 18,” Ruthy explained. “Though she is now 18 years old, she functions as a 3 year old.”
The Moraleses didn’t notice their daughter’s condition until Natalie was about 7 months old, and the discovery was devastating.
“It was a total shock,” Ruthy said. “We were in our 20s and had no idea what to do. We had a complete lack of knowledge.”
(Caption: Natalie Morales at her age 18 birthday party.)
Julio agrees.
“It was an eye-opening experience,” he said. “We were totally lost for answers.”
Fortunately, both Ruthy and Julio were already believers in Jesus.
“Though Christians, we were young in our faith and found ourselves asking the question that so many others ask, ‘Why us?’ ” Julio admitted. “It was a very tough struggle, but it did bring us closer to the Lord.”
In fact, Ruthy said that the Lord had been preparing her even before Natalie’s birth.
“I’ve learned that God always works with His people,” she said. “For instance, when I was a little girl in Puerto Rico, there was a special-needs child at my church I was drawn to. When we came to Orlando and attended a Spanish-speaking church, there was another special-needs girl I was drawn to. It was as if God was preparing my heart and future for what was to come.”
And the Moraleses needed all the preparation they could get. With God’s help, they eventually overcame the shock and were able to deal with Natalie’s condition head-on. But the same hindrance persisted: lack of information.
“There are so few resources regarding Natalie’s situation,” Julio said. “It’s such a rare chromosome deficiency that up to this day the information is very scarce. There are just not a lot of kids, that we are aware of, who have this condition.”
Though chromosome 18 deficiency has several characteristics, perhaps the one that has been the hardest for the Moraleses is Natalie’s inability to speak.
“Knowing what she wants is often a guessing game,” Ruthy said. “It can be very frustrating. Because she is developmentally delayed, she is not able to make as many sign languages as we would like. Also, though she’s 18 years old, she’s still in diapers. Fortunately, we have some [outside] help for her. We also get help from Natalie’s sisters, who love her very much.”
And though anyone with children can empathize with the Moraleses and others in similar situations, one thing they have difficulty doing is seeing the bright side of being the parents of special-needs children.
“Natalie has been a blessing to us,” Ruthy said. “She makes her sisters better people. Because of Natalie, they also have a heart for the [special-needs] ministry.”
“Also,” Julio added, “you learn not to complain as much. When you have a child with special needs, you realize that some of the things you used to complain about are really nothing. For instance, we take for granted the ability to pick up a glass of water and drink it. Many children with disabilities can’t even do that. Your whole way of thinking changes.”
Unfortunately society often tends to consider such children as “mistakes.” The Moraleses totally disagree.
(The Morales family, from left: Julio, Veronica, Vanesa, Natasha, Natalie and Ruthy.)
“I believe God has a purpose for everything He does,” Julio said. “In [Natalie’s] case, He did exactly according to His plan. Natalie has caused me to view life in a completely different way. I have more appreciation [for] and understanding of life and people. I can understand why people sometimes stare at special-needs children and keep their distance from them. I try not to take it personally when it happens to Natalie.”
And though the challenges are many, the Moraleses know that Natalie has changed their lives for the better and want to encourage younger parents of special-needs children to come to the same conclusion.
“Always remember that with God there is hope and a purpose,” she said. “Be assured that He did not make a mistake. If you finally come to the place where you can rely on the Lord’s strength and not your own, then you will be blessed.”
“It’s a learning experience every day,” Julio added. “At first, it is like crawling; later on, you begin walking. But the one thing I stress to young parents struggling with special-needs children is to never lose hope. Trust in the Lord. The strength will come so long as you have faith in Him.”
Learn more about the Special Needs Ministry at First Orlando, or call 
407-...
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Learn more about Nathaniel’s Hope.
